I'm not pissed off. Really.

How to really berkenalan with someone you don't know through text messages and calls.

1. Don't call like 16 times per day.

2. If the person do not answer your call, wait for him/her texting back or calling

back.

3. Do not ____ start a conversation with hopelessly antidiluvian pick up lines

like these:

- "Hai boleh berkenalan?"

- "Hai."

- "Hye, tgh wat pe?"

- "Hai, dah mkn ke?"

- "Hai, darh mkn kewh?"

P.S. Unless you're 16 and below then you are exceptionally hated by me.

P.S.S Fill in the blank with any word you want. I must jaga my language.

4. Find a topic, any topic to start.

5. Be a bit humourous. How come people without sense of humour can survive?

6. Ego sikit la ba. Adoi.

7. Don't call and try to sound cute or sexy.

8. Don't this.

9. Don't that.

10. Just don't.

I ran out of ideas. Having no class or assignments or midterms or finals to think about make me a normal person so far.

Oh ya, minta maaf kalau ada yang terasa. Mungkin saya menyindir diri sendiri, mungkin suatu ketika dahulu saya lebih teruk dari ini. (Trying to be humble but I was never that cheap. Hah)

I have proof that I could be that typical. Cilok dari kawan saya.

We were trying so hard to be like one of them.

And it's either you get the parody. Or you just think "Oh. Nice pic."

Duh.

Contoh Surat Kiriman Rasmi

Cikgu Michelle Muroh,

SMK Arshad,

Kota Belud Sabah.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pelajar-pelajar 4SS2,

SMK Arshad,

Kota Belud,

Sabah. 6 September 2009

Wahai pelajar-pelajar sekalian,

End of teaching practical / Tamat praktikal mengajar

Sehubungan dengan perkara di atas, saya ingin memaklumkan lagi bahawa saya tamat perkhidmatan mengajar di SM Arshad pada 11 September 2009 (Jumaat). Latihan mengajar telah dijalankan dengan hebatnya selama 3 bulan bermula pada 15 Jun 2009 yang lalu.

2. Maka di sini saya ingin menyampaikan hasrat hati melalui surat kiriman rasmi ini. For the past 3 months, I have given the chance to take over your class - teaching both Mathematics and Science. These are the things that I experienced for the past 3 months :

a) Fenomena tengok-tengok, siul-menyiul dan panggil-memanggil daripada pelajar kelas-kelas lain sepanjang perjalanan ke kelas 4SS2. Mesti macho selalu sewaktu berjalan.

b) Waktu rehat dan bukan rehat sebenarnya sama sahaja. Biasanya kamurang keluar makan bila-bila masa kamu mahu kecuali pada bulan puasa, mungkin ada kurang sikit.

c) Kejadian malas belajar dan malas buat homework itu memang sangat sebati dalam diri semua pelajar. Saya juga seorang pelajar. Syabas kepada yang rajin.

d) Mungkin perlu puji sedikit kerana kemurang sebenarnya ada potensi untuk berjaya dan jadi pelajar yang hebat dan taf. Jangan ba layan itu malas wahai anak-anak sekalian.

e) Pelajar malas membaca. Kurang bagus kerana tanpa membaca, kamu tidak tahu apa yang saya tulis di sini. Apa lagi kalau buku Sains, Perdagangan, Rekacipta, English, Sejarah dan sebagainya.

3. Ok, belum lagi habis. Ada lagi perkara penting yang ingin disampaikan seperti yang berikut:

a) Kamu kebanyakannya kuat main dan kuat membuat lawak most of the time. Masalah saya tidak dapat control macho untuk tidak ketawa kadang-kadang. Jadi maafkan saya kerana kuat ketawa.

b) Namun begitu, kamu bukan golongan yang kurang asam sangat kerana biasanya bila saya ada tegas sikit, kamu buat-buat takut dan mendengar kata. Jadi terima kasih kerana masih menghormati saya sebagai guru anda.

c) Walaupun saya mengaku saya hebat, tapi sebenarnya saya hanya insan biasa yang cuba untuk belajar untuk mengajar. Maka berlaku la kesilapan mengajar, kebosanan mengajar dan ketidakfahaman mengajar. Saya faham dan di sini ingin saya meminta maaf di atas kekurangan saya.

d) Yang paling penting, mungkin saya akan berasa berat hati mahu meninggalkan ini semua kerana sekali lagi saya hanya insan biasa dan kadang-kadang beremosi tahap normal. Jadi sebenarnya saya mungkin akan mengakui bahawa :

"I WILL MISS ALL OF YOU"

Ya itu sangat jiwang dan tidak taf.

4. Cikgu minta maaf jika ada terkasar bahasa atau buat kamu marah, kecewa, geram serta menyampah sepanjang pertemuan kita. Cikgu minta maaf tidak dapat jadi guru yang paling hebat dan bijak pandai. I apologize for every little thing I did, if any.

5. Sila jangan ikut format ini dalam SPM tahun depan. Terima kasih kerana sudi membaca, kamu memang pelajar yang hebat ok.

Sekian sahaja warkah pada kali ini. Kalau berjumpa lagi, sila tegur saya.

Yang benar,

____________________

(MISS MICHELLE MUROH)

870610-13-5420

Saya tidak rindu ini part 1

Itu hanya kata-kata ego saya.

3 months nearly come to an end -- but let's make this very merry short (yeah short).

Keburukan Latihan Mengajar (sangat Bahasa Melayu) :

1. No allowance.

2. Far from home so basically it's like you're moving to a new place for fun.

3. Teach two subjects where others can teach only one.

4. Start teaching in the first week where others teach eventually after observing.

5. Writing the ridiculously long, eye-rolling-ly skema and desperately compulsory lesson plan.

(Lesson plan is supposed to be a PLAN. You're not supposed to PLAN every minutes of your future. It's supposed to be general, not writing the actual conversation between you and the students. I'm sorry but I've seen such lesson plan before and I have to say this : What the hell?)

6. Revise back something you hate and you won't really understand like chemistry. Or even simple Math.

7. Can't escape class like students do.

8. Can't escape functions or school events like teachers do. (Unless urgent la)

9. It's hard to talk about LM with coursemates because semua pun bertaburan di sekitaran Sabah.

10.It took my appetite. (mula-mula la)

Kebaikan Latihan Mengajar :

1. (I have to think a bit longer for this part)

No Uni-exams, Uni-midterms, Uni-final papers.

2. No lectures and classes that you'd likely to escape after a few weeks beginning a new semester.

3. I can mandi sungai every week if got friends tagging along.

4. I got to meet new people, new community, new dialects. No problem with that. I like.

5. Being a new person makes me feel like a celebrity when you're the only Sarawakian in the school and in the neighbourhood. It's like when I go out to pekan, I wanna shout "Hey, I'm not from here!"

6. It gives the sense of real teaching not micro teaching like we had practiced. It feels more

awesome when you walk past them and responded to every "Good Morning, teacher" that you get.

7. Free access to Internet in school. Oh oh, agak laju.

8. The teachers here are great.

9. The students are awesome. At some part or degree, they're still great to me.

10.I get to live in a big house for a while, letting myself be the co-owner of the house I rented.

So Astro, electrical usage, volume modification, curfews, manners are all under my control. Yeehaa.