It was November 2 2008 when I wrote this...

...and I realized I tucked it nicely in my folders and it happened that I was like most of you now, having exams and all, I was supposed to study but of course I couldn't concentrate more than 40 minutes (or less) and ended up crapping again.

A year ago, I was in my third year, 5th semester. Still battling with Mathematics and Physics subjects and I don't remember much. I have this little piece which I never had a chance to publish, maybe because I wanted to wait for the right moment.

A year.

Right.

So mari aku hidangkan :

Cara-cara untuk mentensenkan diri sendiri pada tahap yang kritikal:

1. Baca buku Fizik, try hafal rumus, then buat soalan bernombor genap (di belakang tiada jawapan utk nombor genap)

2. Buat kerja pada last minit.

3. Pabila kesuntukan masa, pergilah melepak untuk membuang masa yang sudah suntuk.

4. Mendengar celoteh kawan 2nd degree yang tiada penghujung sehingga anda hilang dari pandangan.

5. Bertanya soalan dengan kawan-kawan dan mereka dapat menjawab dengan confident, bukan macam kau, luang masa 2 jam untuk satu soalan level senang.

6. Mengira untuk satu formula secara berulangan dan tetap tidak mendapat jawapan.

7. Memahami konsep saintifik yang hanya Tuhan sahaja yang faham. Tokoh-tokoh ilmu punya kuasa rohani sebenarnya.

8. Tidak menghabiskan syllabus yang akan masuk exam kerana anda banyak meluangkan masa untuk sesuatu yang payah dan tidak masuk akal. Dan tidur kerana mengantok.

9. Belajar dengan sangat tekun sehingga anda dapat makan buku.

10.Berangan-angan anda dapat balik Sarawak, beli apam balek yang rangup di Pasar Malam Sibu guna duit bos. Then beli babi panggang untuk suka-suka.

No, I do not miss examinations at all. I do not think my holidays are too early, I never whine because my holidays are too long and I could never savour a short life without exams just like I'm having right now.

Phrasing our little chats just now,

Kawan : Ko cney pok? Juh nangga match MU malam tok.

Aku : Ala, aku kat rumah di Sibo dah tok. Sikpat la ku neman ko nangga match walaupun ku sik minat bola.

Kawan : Sial.

Haha. And no, I am so not offended with how many sials or fucks or shits I get because I'm home early.

You will have your freedom, folks.

And this is not a freedom, this is just perhentian.

Another semester to go.

Then I WILL/SHALL/MUST find a job and buy them anything they wanted. Living in debts is just miserable. Watching, just watching, is just helpless. With money, you are a star.

More money-talking later. Let's focus on me leaping for freedom in advance for those who needed one right now. Heh. I need one, too.

"Bapak tidak ajar ko tipu..."

That's what my dad said when I punked my whole family today.

Haha.

It was fun. Tapi secara individu. Bukan seperti yang dirancang where I punked all of them at once.

Little brother was singing out loud (karaoke-ing runs in the gene) when I came from behind and surprised him.

Muka dia sangat Oh-my-gosh-my-sister-is-in-front-of-me-for-real.

Jaw dropped with microphone hanging in his hand.

I was laughing so hard I hurt myself.

Little sister instantly recognized me from behind after she got out from shower room. Ah, kawan Mak konon yang sedang mencuci pinggan. Idea little brother.

Then comes the mother. Walking to the kitchen, she saw my legs. And then freaked out. Just the way I wanted. Hahaha.

And father said what I wrote earlier. And some other statements :

"Kami suda plan ramai-ramai mo amek ko 5hb. Ah, padan muka hari ni mak tidak masak sedap-sedap."

"We told Aunty this and Aunty that and Uncle that and Uncle this you're coming back on the 5th."

The best part was, I shrieked seeing Jessie (even though I know she's gonna fetch me) and the whole airport instantly looked at her (aku membelakangi mereka).

She said "I was ready for that. I knew you'd do that".

And Dolly the cow. Hoh, padah di Miri konon. Wa mo punk lu, lu punk wa balik. Lu memang hebat. Wa tetap rasa best lu bawa itu menatang amek wa di airport. Some Paris Hilton wannabe.

I know this is a boring and typical post. I don't care. You know what it feels like to speak your mother tongue language after 5 months being away from home?

It feels damn good.

It feels just right.

Just at home.

Yeah.

Persetankan Kolej E dan masalahnya yang celaka.

I have a question

"Hey, do you know about John trying to steal you bike back then?"

"Uh..no."

"Oh... I thought you knew about that."

That is friggin stupid.

Why can't you just say so like this:

"Hey, John tried to steal your bike last time."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, it's a secret and I just blew it."

C'mon. Yes, if it's all about bike, there's no point talking about it. Try talking about serious stuff like "Hey, do you know she's adopted?" or "Hey do you know she lost her virginity when she was 15?" or "Hey, do you know her hubby got a mistress?" or any other "BIG SECRETS" you know.

You don't ask, IF you wanna make sure people know about it.

Kalau ko dah tanya soalan bodo camtu, memang orang tau la kan?

You DON'T talk about it, then people WON'T know.

And when you're in the middle of this kind of conversation, how would they expect you to react?

"Hey, do you know John took drug?"

"WHAT? WHAT THE ****? WHY? WHEN? HOW? DOES HIS PARENTS KNOW? WHAT KIND OF DRUGS? I'M FRIGGIN FREAKING OUT!!!!!"

"Oh oh sorry, I thought you don't know about it."

WTF? Unless you're really cool like me, then you just say "Oh, ya I know". You freak out internally inside your tummy. Control macho. But how many people manage to do that?

Manusia, kadang-kadang kita kena buat bodo walaupun kita berakal.

Berikut adalah sejenis lagi situasi aku paling benci.

Dia bagi DUA pilihan, "allow" or "not allow".

But when I click "don't allow", then as usual like any other insignificant applications, it goes like this:

Then you click "Allow permission and start the interview".

There goes out the first notification again. And again.

Until you force yourself clicking "Allow", barulah dapat guna application yang tidak penting itu.

My dear Facebook,

cakap ja la direct like "You must allow because I want it that way, I'm not giving you choices."

Why you ask me when you already give me the answer? Why ask when your answer is definite?

Just don't ask, if you don't wanna know the answer. You're not some final exams questions.

Oh by the way do you know I farted just now?

No?

Oh oh alamak. Aku tercakap la.

Asinine. (jumpa perkataan baru. Thanks Cambridge.)